Johnny Boy’s Engagement Party
“ Hi. I’m a recovering crack head. This is my retarded sister that I take care of. I’d like some welfare, please.
— Dennis “It’s always Sunny in Philadelphia”
Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow
So this week is officially my last week living in Williamsburg at least for the foreseeable future and I’m having a bit of a quarter life crisis. I went out to dinner with a friend from high-school and realized that in a way Williamsburg has become a part of me as much as I have become a part of it as hard as that is to admit. The parkway, the beach, the hard gangsters of FC, the rehab kids, the close friends, the not so close ones, the deli’s, the drama, and all the other good and bad things that went along with this town. In a way I feel that a little piece of me is going to be left behind but it is also the end of one volume of my life and the start of another, a new beginning. Yea if you had asked me a few years ago where I saw myself being after I graduated I would have most likely said, “Somewhere, anywhere but Williamsburg” and now if I had it all to do over again I would not have changed a minute. Yes living with my parents for 6 months after graduation was trying at times to say the least, for them just as much as me. In the grand scheme of things though I know that in this time with my parents I was able to learn and realize one thing that I thought I knew but now I am for sure and that is if the rest of the world said that I didn’t belong they would be there to let me know that the world doesn’t know it head from its hind parts anyways. The time with my grandparents, getting to know them as a fellow adults has also been priceless no longer am I just a boy for them to pinch my cheeks and tell me how big I’m getting but a person to discuss various issues whether it be related to POLI-TICs, the economy, religion or various social issues and even if we did not agree on all issues they still respected my point of view as I respected theirs. I will miss being able to to wake up whenever I would wake up on Saturday and go for a visit to my favorite bistro Le Deskins right next door where the food was only topped by the love and care in which everything was done. Williamsburg has made me truly realize the meaning of ”Parting is such sweet sorrow.”IRS
> The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office.>
>
> The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
>
> The auditor says, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no
> full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money
> gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’
>
> I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Ralph. ‘How about a
> demonstration?’
>
> The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’
>
> Ralph says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’
>
> The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’
>
> Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
>
> The auditor’s jaw drops.
>
> Ralph says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my
> other eye.’
>
> Now the auditor can tell Ralph isn’t blind, so he takes the bet.
>
> Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
>
> The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,
> with Ralph’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
>
> ‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Ralph asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand
> dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that
> wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’
>
> The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and
> decides there’s no way this guy could possibly manage that stunt, so
> he agrees again.
>
> Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he
> strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on
> the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk.
>
> The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major
> loss into a huge win. But Ralph’s attorney moans and puts his head in
> his hands.
>
> ‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks.
>
> ‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Ralph told me
> he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand
> dollars that he could come in here and piss all over your desk and
> that you’d be happy about it.
“ I hate listening to people’s dreams. It is like flipping through a stack of photographs. If I’m not in any of them and nobody is having sex, I just don’t care.
— Dennis from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
So today I went to check on the progress of my new spot and found that some of the flooring had been put down in my kitchen, main bathroom, and the tileing had been started in my master bedroom. It was really exciting to see how much progress had been made since just this last monday none of the before mentioned had been done. After checking out everything in my place I decided to go ahead and have a look around at some furniture and frigde. I have quickly realized that there are going to be a lot of difficult decisions that I am going to have to make over the next month. Blinds, shades, sofa, chairs, tables, tv, coffee table, love seat…..I am just getting started so I will cut myself short to say that this is kinda tight minus me picking out blinds/shades (as long as it blocks the sun I don’t really give two shits).